Paani

I used to write pretty well in the past but i suddenly stopped. Then one day i realised your never too late to stop. So now im going to continue doing what i do best, formulating theories on people and writing revews on some of the most inane things in life.
Today im going to review water.
Water is a pretty awesome creation and if im not wrong God was the first one to patent it although he was 5 minutes late to reacht the patent office. Anyways after a solid presentation his creation was accepetd and he threw it down to another one of his mind boggling creations the earth. The BC version of earth was a prototype and after a few kinks the AD version was ready. Anyways throughout both versions this magical invention known as water existed. After millions of years looking at a lonely bottle of water sitting on the floor sweating out droplets of condensed sweat i marvel at its creation.
Its one of the most essential thing in our lives. Not only does it keep us alive and helps support our nutrition, it makes up a massive amount of our body content. Ana amzing fact to notice at this point is that all living creations and bisleri bottles have a high water content.
Water to this date remains as the most superior creation as its highly versatile and can be used for almost anything. Washing, cleaning, attacking people( its better in the frozen form then), it makes stuff soft and it can simultaneously be used to harden soft things. It also does a final function in enhancing the colour quotient of our planet giving it the awesome colour that it prefers to dress up in while going for intergalactic parties.
Signs of water on other planets make scientists believe that either alien life exists or its another one of those space homes with the new frozen pool layouts. Water makes up the seas,rivers, and oceans, and any other random dormation of water. It also resided in floating bungalows known as clouds and sometimes occasionally gets high from the constant passive smoking of the land below, its at this stage that it loses control and ends up falling and joining its friends downstairs. Water droplets make a giant family of useless relatives, so as soon as one leaves the bungalow others go to take its place.
Water can save or destroy life, yet many people dont agree that it should have broken its relationship with fire, they always end up clashing nowadays. Yet one can finally just observe how tiny molecules make drops that come otgether to create giant joint families.
Water is available in all physical stages and this is one of its strong points along with its transparent personality. In its taste its simple and yet the best tasting drink on the whole planet. It can be used to mix other drinks and no matter what people may say its the ultimate thirst quencher.
Amidst massive applause i would like to conclude this story/review by giving water a brilliantly awesome 10 out of 10. I am off now, a certain friend of mine who goes by the acronym of H20 wants to meet up...so i shall see you people later..till then keep drinking..Water!

P.Review

Slumdog Millionaire

My parents had seen the movie and they loved it so i decided to give it a go.
For this review i am not going to go into any details..
The Movie: Just Fucking brilliant !!!! If you dont watch it then either your dead or just stupid.
The Story: Brilliant, a true rags to riches story but is it for the riches?? a true love story, emotional turns and horrible incidents that show Mumbai and the thingsa that the slumdogs go thorugh. I must say at the end of it you feel like huggin your parents and thanking God for everything that you have..
The music: just absolutely brilliant.No words for it...AR Rehman man what can you say.
The Acting; Dev Patel is just fabulous and so are all the actors in the whole movie. Anil Kappor has a short role, and is good.
The Direction : Danny Boyle is the king of movie making now. The whole movie shows some of the dark and hidden parts of Mumbai's flambouyant personality and its shown very well..
Overall the movie deserves all the awards...the fact that its come in the top 100 list of imdb shows how good it is,

My Rating: 10 out of 10...go for it...and this time i say believe the press and everyone who speaks about this masterpeice...

p.review

Madagascar 2

So today I saw Madagascar 2. Everyone had told me that it was a really funny movie and I had to see it. So when I saw it it started out with how alex got separated form his family. Now I don’t want to divulge much into the details..the movie had a one or two boring parts…but it was overall funny…. I laughed a lot at the penguins. The old lady who goes on beating up the lions was just too funny, I also laughed at the ostriches who looked really stupid. I loved the characters of king julian and that tiny fellow who goes around screaming in a high pictehd voice,they were just too funny…the animation was superb, the characters were really nice, and the actors were obviously the best of the best… but the best part of the movie was the music which I would give a 10 out of 10. I loved every song in the movie. As for the movie I would give it a 8 out of 10… watch it you will come out singing I like to move it!!!

Joss - Food and Toilets

I went to Joss today with my family...generally i dont go to these places but since someone else was traeting us i went along cos free food tastes so nice..anyways i am not a fan of chines and oriental stuff ..so i just chose the char grilled paneer dish which was awwesome...i had one more of those...the food was about 200 bucks a plate..good quantities and extremely tasty...generally chinese cuisine hates vegetarians and so i hate chinese but tonight i just loved it...the waiters were nice,ambience was good and music soft...i just had come chocolatee souffle at the end..the quantity was damn small for that..but other than that i would give joss a 9 out of 10.

JOSS BATHROOM

well at the end of my dinner i wanted to pee so i decided to go to the bathroom. There was a chinese woman who showed me the way and a man who told me which bathroom to go to...he was like a bathroom watchman..protecting the door from evil..anyways so i went it. The bathroom was small. a sink..2 standing commodes and one toilet cubicle. It was extremely clean and well lit. The entire experience was blissful. The only down factor was that the sink was damn close to one standing urinal, so if its crowded and someone is washing their hands it will be pretty uncomfortable for the guy peeing and the guy washing as they are too close to each other.Other than this the bathroom was very nice and for my FIRST BATHROOM REVIEW i would like to give:

JOSS ->  **** - Oh, this is gonna be nice and relaxing

The whole experience was nice and i would give joss a overall rating of 9 out of 10...I suggest you go to it. Even if you dont like chinese, trust me you will enjoy the food and the bathroom.

Till then keep eating and peeing,

P.Review

Ghajini

It sometimes happens, that if someone says a film sucks then i believe them and many a times miss out on liking a film because of that attitude. Well i have changed a little and that why i made this blog to express my views.
Now why would i say the press sucks...well Mid-Day gave Ghajini a 2 out of 5. i say that is a shit all review because when i saw the movie i loved it. i loved the idea of short term memory loss, and how he continuosly wrote stuff so he could remember. Although i dont agree tatooing himself was a good idea for if he made a mistake then he would be fucked. I likes aamirs character and i liked the way he played two roles for love. In front of asin he was someone else, while she went about screaming false stories of her loving his real self ( she dint know that obviously)...i love the part where she tells him to be the reals singhani fellow and he agress. and she thinks that he acted the part well even though he was just being himself...their love story is really nice... and i would have become angry too if the love of my life would have been killed the way they showed it in the movie. Aamirs acting is just marvellous. a brilliant movie is one in which the movie-watcher feels like talking to the character or finding themselves in their shoes. for one i hated jiah khans character and i often felt like entering the movie and slapping her hard...as for aamir he was too good.... at the end when he and the don ghajini i fight...there was this part in me saying..beat the fuck out of that bastard,....i felt like jumping in and ripping the throat of that bastard...it made me feel so charged up...the movie may be extremely violent but it was well made and had a good story line..it may have been copied from a a tamil movie, which is a copy of a english movie but i dont care...i loved it....
as for the songs...the hey bachoo song is nice but the best song is Ek Guzaarish...oh fuck what a song..i just go on sinhging it...the best part is after the first para when he starts saying 'sheeshen ke is par mein...' and in the background there are these tiny beats that add to the effect of the song... oh fuck waht i song...im going crazy listenign to it again and again...trust me go watch Ghajini...you wont be dissapointed...the press review was fuck-all.
I would give this movie a 5 out of 5...it had its funny moments, and the sad moments...
so please do watch ghajini and whatever you do...dont believe the press....

P.Review

McDonalds toy

This is kind of late but last month mcdonalds had these cool toys which were from the movie madagascar. You have to shake them and they speak. although i feel that, this is a really cool feature in the toys i was dissapointed to find out that their speech capacities are pretty limited.
I got the toy of a hippo known as moto moto...i like the fine details like the hair on his chest and his expression...but when u shake him he just says two different phrases...and none can be understood. although i did not get to check out the other toys...the penguins looked good.. see if mcdonalds want more happy meal takers then i feel their toys should talk a little more than 2 phrases...i aslo ate the new shake shake fries and they sucked. they had this real tomatoey taste to them and they tasted as if i had sprinkled the maggi noodles masala on them...
So for the mcdonalds toy i would give : 5 on 10
As for the fries : i would give it 3 on 10...i would only eat them if the whole world was destroyed and i was the only one left alive ( which is highly unlikely)...
i would give this dream of me surviving a 6 on 10...because although there are a few benefits there are too many disadvantages and id rather prefer dying.

thats all for now,

P.Review

Who am I...

Hello all...
If you are reading this then you are either bored or desperate. Its ok...so am I.
I go by the name of P.Review as my orignial intention was to be a bathroom critic and review toilets in restaurants across Mumbai... I ACTUALLY sent a mail to the press asking them for this job and nobody replied. They thought it was a joke..well screw them...i hereby declare to wholly review any random crap that i can..bathrooms,movies,songs,mcdonalds toys, sandwichwallas...anything..so till i actually review ill show you what a bathroom critic is all about..below is the mail I sent to the press..read it and see what im about...


Bathroom Critic

This is not a joke im serious!!!Im definitely sure people will read this.
And the name below has been changed to protect my identity.

Dear Mid-Day,

I Go-Pee Shah would like to write a weekly column criticizing various bathrooms across the city. I feel that restaurants should not merely be judged on their service, food, ambience etc. I feel the bathroom too plays an essential role in the enhancing the atmosphere of a restaurant. I feel in case anybody gets a sudden urge during his meal and he rushes to the bathroom, he should have a lovely time in side instead of taking a leak in a smelly dump where the water refuses to move out of the tap. Yesterday I had gone to a nice little restaurant in the suburbs (name held to withhold personal feelings).I ate quite a nice meal and after I was done I went for my complementary visit to the bathroom. I was appalled to see the state of what I call the “liquid lounge”. There was a very low ceiling and the pot was slightly dirty. It was claustrophobic inside and I felt dismayed at the shadiness of the bathroom of such an exquisite restaurant. I shall be a proper critic in judging bathrooms, on their décor, ambience, and beauty, water capacity etc. If people can criticize food, movies and music then why not bathrooms. Bathrooms are the small places that give us tiny feelings of relief and happiness. It is here that a person can relax for a few seconds. Many a times all of us have come under this circumstance that we are on the road and we do not know where to go incase we have to pee. It is at this moment that I feel I should step up and enlighten the people and let them know where they can go in case of an emergency. I will be really grateful if you give me this opportunity to flush out the ignorance from the citizen’s head and help them when it can’t be controlled.

Thanking you,
Go-Pee Shah

Ps: Here is my rating.
*- Id rather die controlling
**- I think I need a gas mask and speed for this one
***- Hey it’s not that bad!
****- Oh this is gonna be nice and relaxing
*****- You can leave the restaurant, I am staying here forever.